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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The First Year

by False Crack

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1.
WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! Get outta my way! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! Fast Fast Fast! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! 1,2, Hup 2! I’ll Kick your Ass! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! I’m goin’ somewhere! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! Go! Go! Go! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! 1,2,3,4! You’re just to slow! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! From A to B! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! The True Speedwalk WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! Gotta destination! No time to talk! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! Fuck Outta my Way! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! No time for Shit! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! You Slow Motherfuckers! I’m Gonna Be Late! WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER!WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER!WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER!WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER!WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER!WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER!WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER!WALK LIKE A NEW YORKER! (Etc.)
2.
Android 02:34
All systems go, I'm always on I'm an Android, not an Automaton! On the surface I’m only a man But the robot inside has a master plan! Destruction of the human race is what hides behind this banal face... Infiltrating your society I'm not the second, but the fifth Variety! ROBOTS WEARING HUMAN FLESH -Android Android Android!!! OUR INNER SYSTEM IS TOO COMPLEX -Android Android Android!!! CONTRIVED FEELINGS TO EXPRESS -Android Android Android!!! PLAYING YOU ALL LIKE A GAME OF CHESS! Athough we lack certain emotions We kill humans with programmed devotion! Circuits all up inside our head We see night-vision and infrared! Yeah, processing data is annoying when there’s prey I should be destroying! But this Humanoid Android in the end’s gonna be your death, posing as a friend! ROBOTS WEARING HUMAN FLESH -Android Android Android!!! OUR INNER SYSTEM IS TOO COMPLEX -Android Android Android!!! CONTRIVED FEELINGS TO EXPRESS -Android Android Android!!! PLAYING YOU ALL LIKE A GAME OF CHESS! Cyborgs, Ha! Ha ha haha! Humans wishing they were us, but they’re not! Just cuz they add mechanical parts Don't make them as deadly, don't make them as smart! Us Androids come in endless molds We won’t stop 'til there's total control! Robots, Cyborgs and Humans alike Bow to our Power and high Gigabytes!
3.
PB&J 01:47
peanut butter and jelly sandwich how i loathe your perfection you've torn into my heart you're sweet, and oh so tart... two slices of succulent bread with a very gooey center heavy on the jelly satisfies my hungry belly PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. GET IN MY MOUTH!!!! PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. GET IN MY MOUTH!!!! you can toast it or microwave any way i'll surely eat it i am a pb & j whore always craving more, more, more! creamy or crunchy peanut butter or multiple jellys at once there is no visible limit to the p.b&j. fanatic PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. GET IN MY MOUTH!!!! PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. GET IN MY MOUTH!!!! i kinda want one right now think i'll stop writing this praise so i can go and quench my need my thirst for hunger, my mouth to feed ..crunch..crunch..crunch...i'm back indeed yum yum yum, i could eat like three its not an addiction, its my life my lunch, my dinner, my dog, my wife (BREAKDOWN) this simple ode does not do justice to the invention of a genius unknown for whoever created this sandwich i lust i would gladly give all my trust forever i am in this wedlock with something that's outta my control i am just another bitch to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. GET IN MY MOUTH!!!! PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. GET IN MY MOUTH!!!! PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. GET IN MY MOUTH!!!! PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY…. FUCKING GET IN MY MOUTH!!!!
4.
POG 01:46
Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, Passion Orange Guava, Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, Passion Orange Guava, Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! POG! POG! POG! POG! P-O-G-P-O-G! POG! POG! POG….. P-O-G-P-O-G! POG! POG! POG! POG! P-O-G-P-O-G! POG! POG! POG….. P-O-G-P-Ooo-G! Only one juice, has got me by the noose… Haleakala POG is just… askin’ for abuse… Mainlanders do not know, what Hawai’i’s got to show! Try some POG you bitch, you’re addicted like a Ho-ho-ho… Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! Passion Orange Guava, POG! POG! POG! POG! POG! POG! POG! P-O-G-P-O-G! POG! POG! POG….. P-O-G-P-O-G! POG! POG! POG! POG! P-O-G-P-O-G! POG! POG! POG….. P-O-G-P-Ooo-Geeeeeeee!
5.
BMX OI! 01:46
Bikin’ ‘round town, all alone, by myself i wouldn't ride with anybody else (NOBODY) i can ride for hours and hours on end i don't need no one, i am my best friend wherever i go, i see other bmx crews but there is no envy, cuz i don't need you me and my bike, we can not be separated our bond tight like glue, our destinies fated BMX BMX BMX Oiiii!!!! Me n' my, me n' my, me n' my Booooiiiiike!!! BMX BMX BMX Oiiii!!!! Me n' my, me n' my, me n' my Booooiiiiike!!! Sure I skate with the kids at the top of my street I'm a talentless skater with no sense of technique (I SUCK) But when I'm on my bike, I gotta ride alone this whole town, every street, I call it my home Pestering the tourists in the heart of Waikiki Up and down the Valley of my home, Kalihi Ala Moana to the House of Curry I ride the Kam Highway in all of my Glory BMX BMX BMX Oiiii!!!! Me n' my, me n' my, me n' my Booooiiiiike!!! BMX BMX BMX Oiiii!!!! Me n' my, me n' my, me n' my Booooiiiiike!!! (4 Measures of Oi Oi Oi’s) Oi Oi Oi Oiiiiii!!! I'm so coy with plans to employ! Oi Oi Oi Oiiiiii!!! Fall for my ploys you eaters of soy! Oi Oi Oi Oiiiiii!!! Just a boy and his toy! BMX and destroy, BMX and Oi Oi Oiiii! Oii Oi Oii Oiiiii!!!!
6.
7.
Machete 02:22
I see Zombies in the streets, I see zombies in the halls Human flesh is what they eat, watch the zombies take the mall! I see zombies with my ho’s, I see zombies throwing fits I see zombies at the shows, and zombies startin’ circle pits! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. I NEED A MACHETE!!! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. CUT OFF THEIR FUCKIN HEAD! NOW THEY ARE FUCKIN DEAD! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. I NEED A SHOTGUN!!! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. SHOOT ‘EM IN THE FUCKIN’ BALLS! GOTTA FUCKIN’ KILL THEM ALL! I see zombies eat my mom, I see zombies eat my dad! I see zombies eating arms……. THIS IS BAD!!! Zombies eating Little girls, Zombies in my front lawn! Zombies all around the world, We’re all gonna be DEAD BY DAWN!!! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. I NEED A MACHETE!!! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. CUT OFF THEIR FUCKIN HEAD! NOW THEY ARE FUCKIN DEAD! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. I NEED A SHOTGUN!!! Oooooooooohhhhhh…. SHOOT ‘EM IN THE FUCKIN’ BALLS! GOTTA FUCKIN’ KILL THEM ALL!
8.
New Shoes 01:23
so i got new shoes yah what's the fuckin' deal people gotta point and comment make this a fuckin’ ordeal i don't wanna hear "Nice Shoes" 50 times a day it really pisses me off every fuckin’ word they say (CHORUS) Don't you say "I like your New shoes" Unless You want a punch in the mouth Just go do what you always do if you know what's good for your health! my old shoes were worn out so naturally i bought these why do i gotta put up with your garbage feels like a disease do i gotta dirty em up so none of the assholes notice do they wanna feel the wrath of the fist of the white lotus? (CHORUS) Don't you say "I like your New shoes" Unless You want a punch in the mouth Just go do what you always do if you know what's good for your health! so i got new shoes yah what's the fuckin' deal people gotta point and comment make this a fuckin’ ordeal i don't wanna hear "Nice Shoes" 50 times a day it really pisses me off every fuckin’ word they say (CHORUS) Don't you say "I like your New shoes" Unless You want a punch in the mouth Just go do what you always do if you know what's good for your heee-ee--eeealth!
9.
You know I don’t remember much about my Teenage Years I didn’t join the crowd, I didn’t drink any beer I never really did the popular thing Matter a’ fact, I didn’t do much of anything! Oh I was a teenage nobody, oh woo ooh ooh! I was a teenage nobody, yes it’s true! Oh I was a teenage nobody, oh woo ooh ooh! I was a teenage nobody, invisible to you! I skipped the school dances, I skipped the prom I never really played school sports, I wasn’t in the band I was never invited to the weekend parties I just sat at home all night, watching the tv! Oh I was a teenage nobody, oh woo ooh ooh! I was a teenage nobody, yes it’s true! Oh I was a teenage nobody, oh woo ooh ooh! I was a teenage nobody, invisible to you! I didn’t ever hang out with the cool kids in the hall Didn’t smoke up on the hill, didn’t go to the mall… None of the girls ever really noticed me And the bullies, they never even picked on me! Cuz I was a teenage nobody, oh woo ooh ooh! I was a teenage nobody, yes it’s true! Oh I was a teenage nobody, oh woo ooh ooh! I was a teenage nobody, invisible to all of you!

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released March 3, 2009

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